A view from Patterimäki hill. I am looking at the places where I used to play. I feel like an old man who does not feel at home in Vyborg or anywhere else. Once an evacuee, always an evacuee! My mind is like a roulette. I just have to be content with observing where the ball stops. My mind is looking for a fixed point. I try to stop the wandering of my mind. I concentrate on something. On what? Why didn't I venture more after all? Or why I am needlessly slaving away so hard in my life, my other self is thinking.